Pip returns to Dog School

     I might have mentioned in an earlier post, Pip returned to naughty form with renewed vigour last month and I felt the need for some outside intervention.

     My brother visited from the UK and was appalled when in the space of a couple of hours, Pip bit him twice.

Marley misbehaving in the movie.

  

     Trying to explain to a non-doggie person the difference between a nip of endearment that says ‘Hey, I’m so excited to meet you!’ and a proper bite that says ‘Hmm, I’d like to eat you up!’ is, of course, a big fat waste of time. But after said brother proclaimed I’d got myself a Marley (for those not in the know a VERY bad dog in a very good book and not so good movie (ala Jennifer Aniston) called Marley and Me) and had I considered getting a smaller, less robust dog, I decided it was time to go back to Ruth.

  

Pip gets the 'ahem!' bug

   Pip and I have been lost on a beach somewhere – well, not literally but both busy in our various ways. After three interviews (for the same job), I now have a proper job - yay!! But, poor Pip has been in quarantine with kennel cough.

   

    He was diagnosed last Monday...

Home Alone!

   I have started working – just a couple of days a week – and poor Pip has had to endure being HOME ALONE! 

   He’s actually coping reasonably well. The damage so far:

(1)    Destroyed one stuffed toy – which was his to destroy.

(2)    Ate part of his bed, chewed the foam out of it.

(3)    Chewed into small pieces several polystyrene meat trays which we sometimes serve his dinner on.

   I think we’ve gotten off pretty lightly. Anyway, he is super excited to see me and the kids when we arrive home at around 3.45. Bounces around, jumps on us – yes, muddy paw prints on my work duds – and uses very effective body language to let us know that he’s very glad to see us and can we go for a walk now please, huh, can we? Huh? Pant, pant!

  

Pip's first family holiday :)

     Took Pip for his first family holiday last weekend.

   The house at Skene’s Creek – a tiny town near Apollo Bay – was advertised as ‘pet friendly’. Included in our contract was this lovely list...

DOGGIE DO’S & DON’TS

• All dog droppings must be removed from premises prior to departure.
• Your dog must not under any circumstances be taken inside the premises.
•  A fee of $50 is charged and payable when the balance of your accommodation monies is paid.
• The owner of the dog is liable for any damage caused to the premises or resulting loss suffered by the property owner.
• It is the occupiers responsibility to ensure their dog is suitably restrained within the rear yard of the premises.
• A barking or aggressive dog will not be tolerated under any circumstances and may result in the termination of your booking.
• If there is found to be any infringement relating to any of the above, Great Ocean Road Real Estate has the right to request immediate vacation of the premises without refund.

  

     Nice eh?

    

Pip needs spiflicating!

   Dear Readers,
      You might assume that as I have not been posting as regularly is my want that all has been quiet on the Pip front. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Pip has been keeping us very busy – he has turned into a very naughty boy!

      What happened to my dear lovable pup? 

   One example. D2 and I took Pip for a walk on the beach. Now D2 – being an agile 7 nearly 8-year-old tomboy – likes a bit of mischief herself. On this particular day; she wanted me to ‘spiflicate her’.

   This is something my Mum used to say when she was really fed up with us – ‘If you don’t behave, I’m going to spiflicate you!’ I never really knew what the word spiflicate meant and even back then it was kinda funny – although Mum usually cried this in a pinnacle of rage. Anyway, it’s become a bit of a running gag with me and my kids; when they muck up, I threaten to spiflicate them.

    On one memorable occasion, I threatened to spiflicate D1. We pretended to start karate fighting on the way to school – she made a mock kick, I caught her foot, she fell over and promptly skinned her knee. Although she was in pain, she was also in fits of giggles. ‘Mum, you spiflicated me!’

     So D2 and I began play fighting on the beach BUT Pip decided to join in...

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, another post from the one and only... D1!

    * D1 has been learning how to write persuasive texts at school. Here is her opinion piece on that subject close to all our hearts - dog poo!  Hotdog Heath

Actually, I’m not that famous (it is mum’s blog) but you should still read this...

It is outrageous that practically no-one bothers picking up their dog’s revolting, sickening doggy dung. Not only does it fill our nostrils with the most horrific smell and our eyes with the most disgusting sight but it also heavily affects our eco-system which is most definitely the most horrid of them all!

Not my foot...

To kick off, whenever this putrid waste comes in contact with any of our senses we turn away in pure disgust. Do you want to have your dog poo making the community appalled and utterly horrified? I hope you don’t because that would be disgraceful. These completely gross things are just one good reason to pick up your dog’s foul slop.

The Greedy Cow

Went to the Cheeky Cow this morning with Pip and the family. We were waiting for our breakie to arrive when a middle-aged guy walked up with a large German Shepherd.

Don't hurt me Pip!

 His dog was scared of Pip. Last week, explained the guy, he’d been attacked by a Labrador and a $300 trip to the vet with stiches followed. Consequently the poor dog has developed an aversion to anything lab-like. 

Give a dog a bone

We’ve been away, the girls and I, and left ‘the boys’ to their own devices. It was the longest we’d ever left Pip on his own and it seems he coped quite well.

Him-In-Doors bought him the biggest bone I’ve ever seen in my life from Tasman Meats.

The remains of Pip's bone alongside his squeaker bone

I felt mildly guilty giving it to him on Monday morning before I set off for Melbourne. I was still inside doing some last-minute packing when I heard him clunking the bone on the deck. It sounded like he was dismantling the deck.

Another guest post from D1

 How to teach your dog to fly

by D1

 

 Tie a giant bone to a light hanging 5 metres above the ground.

1.       Fetch your T.V remote.

2.      Get your dog and put it on a bookshelf 8 metres above the ground. (Make sure your dog is on a lead).

3.     Press fast forward on your remote control.

4.     Unclip your dog’s leash and command “fly”.

5.      Your dog will have flown to the bone and be clinging on to it by its teeth.

6.     Your T.V will be going at top speed.

Introducing The Growler

Went to a Mum’s drinks night last night and met a lady who used to work for one of those doggie training franchises. It was fascinating talking to her because her approach is completely different to the Dog Whisperers.

Growling at your dog is the key to success...who knew?

I’m going to call this woman The Growler (no offence intended) for a good reason.

Another day, another dead thing

       We’d just left the beach this morning and were walking through the car park when Pip picked up one of those disgusting, half-decomposed dead things.

It looked a bit like this...

At first I thought it was a piece of bark. Then I saw the shrivelled up claws. For a moment I thought it might be a frog or a dead bird. But a close examination revealed the ghastly truth. It was a rat!

More naughty tales...

Pip has become a very cheeky pup. Could it be too much frolicking on the beach with that recalcitrant Frankie?  Too much seaweed for breakie?

I mentioned his growing naughtiness to Ruth's sister Kerry. 'Well,' she gave me a side-long glance. 'Have you been practising your commands?' Err.... 

Naughty? Who me?

Took him to the park yesterday and he discovered a new game. He looks at me longingly until I take out a ball and throw it to him. I’m a bit reluctant to get into the whole ball thing with him because he certainly hasn’t managed to fetch!

Is this the future?

Went walking on the beach the other day, when a HUGE dog that bared a very scary resemblance to Pip came barrelling up.  

 

Pip after one too many pizzas?

Tom’s owner said she couldn’t remember the last time he’d moved so quickly. And from the size of him I believed her...

Tails, you lose

Went for Friday walk with GQ and Dougie where she shared yet another doggie story. Again about Peter the poodle. 

Tail docking machine, 19th century. Photo: Science Museum UK. 

The story was prompted by a small black poodle that joined Pip and Dougie for a romp. I commented on the poodle’s cute little pom-pom tail and GQ revealed that it had been docked!

A pig in the making

Pip managed to score two (!) full dinners last night. He tricked us into it.

There is only one letter difference between Pip and Pig...

But first a little backstory. As most of you will know Pip is a Border Collie-Labrador cross, also known as a Borador. When I took him to the vet to get weighted the other day, the vet nurse prescribed Advantage for fleas and something called Milbemax Allwormer for worms. Both products were for dogs in the 10 to 25 kilo range.

Another lone (randy) dog and ahem, more humping...

Went with Frankie and co. to Breamlea beach on the weekend where kids and dogs had a ball playing in the dunes. Breamlea must be one of the few remaining beaches in Australia where stupendously wonderful sand dunes are not fenced off with signs telling you to keep off. 

The dunes at Breamlea Beach

 Subsequently, everyone has a fabulous time doing that old fashioned thing of trudging to the top and then running helter-skelter downhill. It’s also wonderfully exhausting for both kids and dogs.

 We were heading back along the beach however when an unwelcome dog, Max, decided to join our group.

A doggie ghost story!

Went to dinner a few nights ago at GQ’s where a lovely Scottish couple were also in attendance. We’d met the couple on another occasion at GQ’s and instantly hit it off because we all love a great story. And they are full of them!

Do you have a doggie ghost story to share?

 Anyway, it turns out that the Scots have recently bought a house which was previously owned by an old man called Mr Talbot. Now Mr Talbot is no longer of this world but his presence, it seems - remains.

A Lone Dog

Took Pip for a nice long walk on the beach this morning. I’ve been up in Melbourne this week and Him-In-Doors has been crook with tonsillitis so with one thing and another, the poor pup has been a bit neglected.

It was breezy but the sun was out and the beach was a beautiful place to be.  We had just begun our walk when a very robust Staffy bounded down for a play.

Pip underneath Charlie. I think he was enjoying himself!

 Now, to my untrained eye Staffy’s bare a passing resemblance to pitbulls which makes me a tad prejudiced against them...

The great hump

* I have changed the settings on my blog and am now open to all comments. So please let me know what you think :)

Pip is discovering his manliness.

Other dogs discovering their manliness

 He’d had his bits done when we got him so I thought his mojo had been removed but it would seem not. He tried to go a dog on the beach the other day – I dismissed it as a one off. But then we were walking around the lake last night and there was no mistaking it. He found a handsome Kelpie and was on his back before you could say ‘How ‘bout it?’ 

The great poo debate

Ok, I don’t want to blow my own trumpet but I did something mildly heroic today. I picked up someone else’s dog poo. Unlike, Mrs Sinatra – she’s one in a million – this is not something I do on a regular basis. But there’s something about dog poo that ahem, gets under people’s skin.

This particular poo was large and while not steaming was still a bit on the squashy side. It was also on the beach, quite near the stairs and also very close to a bin. It was just waiting for some innocent – possible non-dog owning person – to step in it. 

But exactly why is dog poo considered so gross?

The Terrible Twos

Remember how toddlers want to put everything – and I mean everything – in their mouths? Well, Pip does too.

I've tried buying him his own personal chew toys - but just like kids, if it's allowed it's not quite so appealing.

Pip with his Op Shop belt

 I even bought him his own belt from the Op Shop to chew on - which entertains him for short spaces at a time but then, inevitably, he goes off hunting for forbidden treasure...

A guest post from Him-In-Doors

There comes a time in every family’s life when the huge and important task of rolling back the gender stereotypes comes to a screeching halt. It wasn’t baby poo: handled that with aplomb, even when the brown bomb appeared in the bath. It wasn’t ironing shirts: I am the only one who knows how to do it anyway. It wasn’t being a stay-at-home Dad, even though a grim Italian Granny used to hiss  ‘Why you no work?’ at me as I pushed D1 about in the pram.

No. The things which make you realise that the Y-chromosome has not quite outlived its usefulness are cleaning gutters, mowing lawns, and reading maps. Oh, and doing the tax and making sure there is enough LPG in the barbecue gas bottle. Traditionally picking up dog poo is also a bloke thing, hence the intense Pre-Puptial Nuptial negotiations on this score. (See post Jan19)

And then there are the claws...

Him-In-Doors tackles Pip's talons, while D2 comforts

A confession

Have been reading up on blogging and apparently it pays to be self-effacing. So, dear readers, I will confess a dirty secret. In the school playground, (while waiting to pick up the kids) I find it hard to fit in.

Pip is gaining his own personal fan club so simply being Pip’s mum has done wonders for my street cred but there's no denying there's a bit of a clique thing happening.

Ocean Grove Mum's pose for my blog

The thing is; Ocean Grove is packed to the gunnels with long-legged, blonde, designer Mammas – and they tend to stick together. Of course, now that I have a dog, I don’t have to worry about talking to anyone else...

The dreaded puffer fish!

A local dog died recently after eating a puffer fish on the beach. As a consequence I, and many other dog owners, have become fish-phobic.

A dog after eating a puffer fish?

Now Pip, as regular readers might know, is a connoisseur of all things gross. So guess what he picked up at the beach today?

Puppies Galore!

Went for our weekly doggie playgroup session on the beach this morning and got chatting with a lady who breeds golden retrievers. All the male dogs were giving her dog Indi a good sniff and she said it was because they could smell that she was still fertile.

Met a lady on the beach today who cared for 17 (!) Golden Retriever pups

Dog Rage!

*This column has been censored in the interests of keeping my family audience

If it’s one thing I’m rapidly learning it’s that dogs inspire intense emotion. So far, it’s predominantly been witnessing the growing love that my family has for our lovely Pip.

But today two dog rage incidents gave me paws (sorry!) for thought.

Puppy School - the finale!

My boy graduated from puppy school this morning.

I don’t think this means he’s a grown-up but I’m proud to report that he passed with flying colours. No certificate or anything but I guess he would’ve just eaten it anyway.

Just the three of us...

Had a rare night out with Him-In-Doors on Friday night. Both daughters were sleeping over at respective friends and we were looking forward to a quiet morning. Got up to make Him-In-Doors poached eggs but, of course, had to feed Pip first...

An inside dog

Went to doggie playgroup again on Wednesday. Frankie and Mrs Sinatra came and Pip was in doggie heaven.

Pip  and friends from doggie playgroup

  Meanwhile, I have been experimenting over the past couple of days with letting Pip inside...with mixed results.

Puppy School - lesson 3

Him-in-Doors put Pip in his harness for me this morning so I could strap him into the car. The harness attaches to a seat-belt. This was much more successful than the crate and although he stood up a few times, it made for a more pleasant journey to puppy school.

Gravy Beef marked P.S for Puppy School

Felt mildly guilty because we hadn’t really done a whole lot of practice. Luckily I have a smart dog, who once he realises there’s half a kilo of gravy beef on tap, he pretty much does what he’s supposed to.

The Great Dog Wash

Went with Frankie’s family to Breamlea beach on Saturday morning. The weather was a bit spotty but everyone had a great time – exploring the dunes, etc. Pip and Frankie found a lost doggie toy and had a great game of tug-of-war.

Frankie and Pip play tug-of-war at Breamlea Beach. Photo by Mr Sinatra

 

And then I decided it was time to give Pip his first bath.

Lost...

A terrible thing happened yesterday. Took the kids for a long-promised treat to the local lolly shop. Left them with Pip while I ducked into the supermarket. I put the lead under the leg of D2’s chair and left them happily comparing lollies. I guess I should’ve anticipated D2 would stand up at some point...

Pip with D1(top), D2 and GQ's son in happier times

The Friday walk - not!

Set-out for our Friday walk with Dougie and the Groove Queen (GQ). The sky looked ominous and, as we passed our favourite coffee shop, the rain suddenly got serious.

Pip's friend Dougie

Getting to know you

One of the many wonderful things about having a dog is their ability to help you connect with strangers.

Pip looking irresistably cute on our lunch date

Walking a cute puppy miraculously dissolves that invisible barrier, allowing folks who might otherwise have briskly walked past to stop and have a chat.

Doggie playgroup

Took Pip to the dog beach this morning to meet up with fellow Kintala dog owners. Kintala is the name of Pip’s puppy school and one of the attractions when we enrolled was the weekly socialisation/walk on the beach.

Pip braves the water at the dog beach

So I obeyed all the rules, keeping him on the lead until we were on the beach as per Ruth’s instructions. There were about half a dozen or so owners and their dogs - a pack of four kelpies and a lab that ran full pelt chasing balls through the waves.

Puppy School - lesson 2

Took Pip in his crate to puppy school this morning.

Pip and his dreaded crate

Even though I put a big juicy bone in the crate, he still hated it and started barking on the Wallington Road. A barking dog inside a car is an ear-splitting experience. Resorted to baby strategies and started singing.

Started with ‘How much is that doggie?’, then when he started whining, made up a bastardised version of ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’

Don’t cry for me dearest Pippo

You know the truth is I always loved you

All through your pup days

Your mad existence

I kept on singing

Givin' you dog biscuits...

Something on the nose...

Went to the dog beach this morning with the whole family, plus Frankie and his mum. Pip was ecstatic to be reunited with his best friend.

Pip with his best friend Frankie

 Now Frankie’s mum, who would henceforth like to be known as Mrs Sinatra (MS), has a strange habit. And, it must be said, a kind of embarrassing habit. Just like our canine friends, she likes to collect dead animals.

What's in a name?

So at long last, I had my own dog to accompany me on the Friday walk. Since I pounced on the Groove Queen (hereafter referred to as GQ) about half way through last year, we’ve been taking a weekly walk on the beach. I say pounce because she was a newbie and I knew she’d have no mates. When D2 told me there was a new kid in her class I immediately said ‘I’ll have to meet his Mum’. As it happened GQ and I get on famously – in spite of her superior fashion sense.

So we cemented our friendship with the weekly beach walk. Then in December, Douglas – some kind of Pomeranian with a foxy face – joined our weekly outing. 

Douglas (Dougie) the dog.

Poor Douglas had endured months as a quarantine dog; first in Shanghai and then in Melbourne. GQ spent a fair bit of money getting the family pet through the bureaucracy before he made it for his first taste of beach life in lovely Ocean Grove.

Pip discovers his naughty pants!

So, I’d kind of been under this delusion that my dog is super-smart – what with his being half Border Collie/half Lab, which is by all accounts top of the doggie pyramid. And I sort of assumed, stupidly, that he instinctively knew that roads were if not dangerous, at least off-limits.

A Guest Post from D1

Pip is the best dog ever!!! Especially when mum talks to him - it is so funny!

         “Pip, we do not sit in the middle of the road to eat leaves.”

 “Pip, don’t eat duck poo; that’s just gross!” (Actually, Pip eats a lot of duck poo when we go for walks around the lake)

 “Pip, human bums are not for sniffing.”

Pip investigating my Dad's boot

Pip cracks us up! Last night, when we were playing cricket in the park, Pip decided to be a fielder. As soon as somebody bowled, Pip would pounce, chasing our new orange ball as if it were a flying chunk of gravy beef.

Day 12 - Puppy School

So, it was with much trepidation and a very hungry dog that we set off to Puppy School. Ruth – the dog lady – had instructed me not to feed him from midday Sunday in preparation for the 11am class on Monday. We were to bring 250g of gravy steak cut into one centimetre chunks to the class as rewards for good behaviour.

Pip resting in his favourite chair after a full day's play.

I felt terrible starving my puppy but as Ruth said out in the wild they get one meal every two or so days and it wouldn’t do him any harm.  Luckily, Frankie had exhausted him which helped to distract him from the fact he was hungry.

Day 11 - A Frolic at the Beach

It was a two car job to get Frankie and Pip to the dog beach - one kid per car to entertain each dog and one adult driver.

We arrived at the beach and it was really blowing a gale. Undeterred, my furry friends had a whale of a time, chasing each other up and down the beach, while D1 and D2 tried to catch some waves.

Day 10 - Eau de Dead Bird

So after a long week co-managing the needs of demanding children and new puppy, I earnt myself some free time. Even convinced Him-In-Doors to take Pip for his morning walk so I could have a little sleep in. About an hour later, Him-In-Doors came back sweaty and exhausted.

‘Good walk?’

Day 9 - A not-so-successful play date

Pip and I tried for another play date today but it wasn’t quite as successful as hanging out with Frankie. A new Ocean Grove friend brought around her dogs, Scarlet and Charlie, for a walk. Being Friday night and all, we started with a wine and some cashews on the balcony.

But it became apparent very quickly that Scarlet, a cocker spaniel, and Charlie, a poodle-blend, were not quite so enamoured with our playful pup. Charlie has a bit of an Oedipus thing happening. He doesn’t like letting other dogs near his mistress. And Scarlet, allegedly, is a big scaredy cat which she demonstrated by barking crossly whenever Pip came near her – not a promising beginning.

Day 8 - A Trip to the Vet

A better night; Pip is learning to love his kennel. Hurray!

I decided that today we’d take Pip to the vet to get him weighted. Yes, it is like having a new baby. Only you can’t give a new baby back...It’s okay, my recalcitrant thoughts are gone and the puppy love is back. I’m still finding myself on trips to the supermarket thinking, ‘Hmm, what little treat can I get for my boy today?’

Day 7 - The Night from Hell

Last night was hot, really hot, so the question was what to do about Pip? So far, we’ve put him in his crate to sleep. The ‘crate’ is a fully enclosed cage with air holes and a wire grill at the front and would, I’d guess, be about five degrees hotter. So we decided a compromise would be to put Pip in his crate on the back deck.

We put him to bed about 10 and he proceeded to bark for a good 45 minutes before settling. I sat in front of Glee and tried not to listen – to Pip that is.

Day 6 - The Great Sit-In

Sit-in walk this morning. Got out the back gate and Pip sat down and refused to budge. I tried a few times, yanking on the lead, etc but given it was only 6.15 and I was feeling considerably bleary-eyed myself, I didn’t push it. I took off his lead and threw him a stick. He seems slightly more into sticks than balls but still hasn’t mastered the whole fetch routine.

Day 5 - The Dog Beach

Today I took Pip to the dog beach for the first time. At first I kept him on his lead. He was desexed just before we got him and the lady from the Border Rescue Group told us not to get the wound wet for at least 10 days. So it was 36 degrees and I was held hostage, sweltering on the sand with my poor pup still recovering from the loss of his manhood.

Day 4: First play date

Pip had his first play-date yesterday. His cousin Frankie – ok, not technically his cousin, my kid’s cousin’s dog – came over to meet him. Frankie, to be honest, is a little upstart - very cute but super-friendly and assertive. To walk with Frankie and his mum on the beach is to take a very slow walk indeed. He stops to say hello to every human and wants to play with every dog. He also likes to be top dog with every dog, regardless of their size.

Day 3 - Oh, the sleepless nights!

Last night Pip woke up at about midnight and started barking. I ignored it at first but it went on for about 20 minutes and I thought maybe he wanted to go to the toilet. So, I got up and let him out the back door. He proceeded to gallop up and down the back deck wanting to play – did I mention it was midnight?

Day 2 - Up and Atom!

So it’s 12.15 and we’re already two walks down. Pip is now sleeping soundly in his kennel – yay! I wasn’t sure if he’d take to the kennel – it came from another dog – but perhaps in the dog-world this is a good thing. Also, so far, he’s only slept in his crate – and he will, eventually, grow out of his crate. So taking to the kennel is definitely a good thing. But I’m wondering if the sleeping during the day is a good thing. Is he like a baby? If he sleeps too much during the day will his rhythms be all messed up? Will he be up howling half the night? I guess time will tell.

Last night, I slept lightly, expecting him to start whimpering or being distressed in some way. Of course, I wouldn’t have got up to him. He is after all just a dog, not a baby. But I was kind of anxious on his behalf. He was fine!

Day One - A Pup Called Pip

After months of dreaming and pining, today was the day I finally got myself a puppy. Since moving to Ocean Grove in January last year, I have felt my doglessness sorely. Dogs are a far more common accessory for locals on the beach than a bikini.

Dogs in my life have been divided into two categories – Penelope dogs and Killer Dogs. Penelope was my childhood dog – a border collie/sheepdog cross. She lived until she was 17 – and I was 16. She was a beautiful docile dog and I remember more than once crying into her downy fur when no one else understood my adolescent angst.